I need help on finding out if I was sexually abused as a child?

I am 25 yrs old and I need help onto how I can find out if I was sexually abused as a child. I had the symptoms of it. I was sexually active from the age of two an so on. I would have bad dreams of the evil thing that lives in the basement, and after many yrs those dreams are coming back. My aunt just recently claimed that her father, (my grandpa) sexually abused her. An there were many times I was left alone with him. But I feel comfortable around him. Though my mom told me that when I was 6 months old my father had me on his lap an my feet where kicking him, and he got aroused by it, and kept me there till she saw it an took me away from him. An she even asked him if I was showing signs of being abused an he got red in the face and got mad and he thought she was accusing him. He always had dirty magazines that he would let me look at, and I would sleep nude in the bed with him on his weekends, I remember that. And I never felt really comfortable with him. But I don't have a gut feeling it was him. Bit I'm being told it was to painful for me and I blocked the memory out. I need to know why I was like that an if I was truly abused in that way. It is eating at me not knowing. I have all these awful memories with no answere. My first sexual act was when I was two an I performed oral sex on my 5 yr old cousin. I have been to many therapist as a child and got no answeres, my mom even came into my room when I was 6 asking me if anybody has ever hurt me or touched me. And all I can remember was sobbing heavily. Please if there is anybody with helpful suggestions on what I can do. Let me know. Thank u for UR time :)